


I was only taught to love

by heythereshipfreak



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-25 04:19:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17717915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heythereshipfreak/pseuds/heythereshipfreak
Summary: One day Bucky stormed into Tony's lab, with red eyes, demanding Tony to hate him, but the problem was, Tony's mother, Maria Stark only taught him to love, never to hate.





	I was only taught to love

**“Hate me Stark! Why won’t you hate me! I killed your parents for fuck sake!”**  Bucky said, as he stormed into the lab, Tony looked up from the new arm he was working for Bucky, Bucky stormed to the stool that was next to Tony’s work table, Tony just smile at him, and continue with his work. **“Come on Anthony! Fucking hate me, punch me in the face or whatever!”**  Bucky said angrily, he looks at the smaller man working on his new arm, he totally didn’t deserve such kindness, he killed Tony parents, he killed his mother, he killed a part of him, but this man never hates him, instead he accepted Bucky with open arms. He let Bucky into his humble home, he fixed Bucky’s arm, he feeds Bucky with good food, he gave Bucky a place to call home. Tony just sighs and put his screwdriver down, he stopped whatever he was tinkering with, he looked up at Bucky, he walked to Bucky, and he stood in front of this man, The Winter Soldier, he looked into Bucky eyes, they were red, either from crying or tiredness, his face was a bit swollen, he breathes in Bucky’s scent, a mixture of sweat and aftershave, he cups Bucky’s face and pull him closer. He pressed a small kiss on Bucky’s lips, and smile, **“The only thing Mother had ever taught me is to love, never to hate. I was brought up with so much hatred and negative vibes, that I wasn’t growing healthily, I was broken when I was younger, Howard would beat me up when he was drunk, he would abuse me verbally, I would run to my mother and cry, and all she said, he’s your father, just continue to love him and respect him, and he will change. He wasn’t proud of me, but I still loved him, and I still respect him. I realise the more I hate, the more it hurts me inside. I was better than that. And I learned to love. When my first girlfriend dumped me, I hated her, but it didn’t bring me any good, what do I get by hating her? When my first boyfriend cheated on me, I hated him, I went into drugs and alcohol, it brought me more harm didn’t it? When my father died, and my mother too, I cried, I hated him, if only he didn’t have to drive that night, she would still be alive, the more I hated him, the more I grief for my mother, she deserves better, I deserves better. When I found out it was you who killed them, I was hurt, I hated you but why should I hate you when it wasn’t you, you were under the influence of HYDRA, it wasn’t James Buchanan Barnes that killed my parents, but The Winter Soldier.”**  Tony said, as he wipes the tears flowing down Bucky’s cheeks, **“I was only taught to love Bucks, to care for someone, to heal them, to protect them. I was always selfish, thinking about myself, jumping head first into danger, always putting myself first, but where did it get me? Nowhere. I only want to love, to care, to be with you James Barnes. And nothing else.”** Tony continues as he presses small kisses against Bucky’s tears. **“But I don’t deserve this Doll, I’ve hurt you way too much, shouldn’t I deserve a little hate from you?”**  Bucky sniffed, as he wipes his runny nose with the back of his hand. Tony just shook his head, **“You only deserve the best, Love. And nothing less.”**  Tony said as he kisses the top of Bucky’s forehead. Tony then pull Bucky into a long tight hug, hushing the older man, rubbing his back, Bucky kept sobbing in the smaller man embrace, he had hurt this man but yet this man still loved him. As finally Bucky cools down, Tony loosen his embrace, as Bucky pulls away slightly, Tony just rest his arms lazily around Bucky’s hips, **“Never ever question my love for you okay, Bucks. I genuinely love you okay, and I will never stop loving you.”** Tony said as he looks deep in those blue eyes, he could see the sadness in them but also, he could feel the sincerity in them. Bucky just rest his head in Tony’s neck, **“I love you Anthony Edward Stark.”**  Bucky said as his voice was muffled in Tony’s neck, **“And I love you too James Buchanan Barnes”** Tony replies, as he rubs circle on Bucky’s back, earning low moans from the older man.

 

Tony remembers when Bucky first came into the compound, Tony still hated him, he would locked himself in his lab, only comes out for food breaks or coffee breaks, When he goes for mission, he will only command the rest, never really bother to talk to Bucky, until one day on the field, as he was in danger with the amount of agents on his ass, Bucky literally got out from where he was shooting all of them, he ran on the ground and protected Tony, not because it was Tony but the fact that they were a team now and also Tony was like Steve’s best friend, he had to protect Tony, after the fight, Bucky sustained some serious injury, and his prosthetic arm was badly injured, but he rather hide in his room, then go to the medics for help. Tony saw the punches he took while protecting him, he saw the cuts he got, even saw the shocks he took in trying to protect Tony, that did waiver the hatred in Tony, but he didn’t say a thing. It was 2 days after the horrible fight that FRIDAY indicated that Bucky hasn’t been in training but in his room, barely goes out for food. Tony grabs his tool box and went up to Bucky’s shared level with Steve, he saw Steve left some food at Bucky’s door. **“FRIDAY, tell the soldier I’m coming in.”**  Tony commanded as he prepares himself, **“It seems Mr Barnes is sleeping, or he might have fainted?”** FRIDAY replies, **“Grant me access to his room now! And also, vitals!”**  Tony commanded, as he waits for Bucky’s room door to slide open, he runs in, to see a very pale Bucky lying in bed, hugging his left arm close to his body, Bucky was shivering, and he was covered in cold sweats. **“It seems the Mr Barnes is running a high fever, also his wounds seem infected Sir.”**  FRIDAY replied, Tony ran to the bathroom, to get a cold towel, and the first aid kit. As he sat beside Bucky on his bed, laying the clothes on his head, Bucky seems to shiver more with the sudden cold touch. **“It’s cold, me no like it”** Bucky said, as he pushes the towel away from his body. He shivers even more, **“Come on Buck, you’re heating up, let me help.”**  Tony said as he continues to dab the cold towel around Bucky’s head, then slowly moving to his neck. As he touches Bucky’s left arm, he could see it was badly damaged. He could save it, or better, make a new one. Bucky just slowly pushes Tony away, **“Tony please, I’m okay. I can take care of myself.”**  Bucky said as he tiredly opens his eyes and look at Tony, he could see the concerned looked Tony was giving, **“Your part of my team, and I have to take care of you. Have you eaten?”**  Tony asked as he wipes down Bucky’s body, tenderly cleans up his wound, Bucky didn’t have to reply, his stomach starts to grumble. **“Am hungry right now, last meal was 2 days ago, before the mission?”**  Bucky replied tiredly. Tony shook his head, and knowing how much food Super Soldiers need, **“FRIDAY! Help me ask Banner and Rhodes to prepare some drips for this Soldier, and also is the new arm ready for him?”**  Tony commanded as he continues to wipe around Bucky’s body, seeing his scars covered arm. Tony felt bad for him, Bucky didn’t deserve this HYDRA bitch. **“Dr Banner is informed and will be up soon, Commander Rhodes will be getting the arm ready, it’s 75% completed Sir”** FRIDAY replies. Tony just nods and get up from the bed, he went to the bathroom, he prepares a cold bath for Bucky, hoping the fever would drop. As he went back to Bucky’s bed, Bucky was already sitting up, but he was slouching, **“Come on old man, you should take a bath first before the rest comes with my things. “** Tony said as he helps Bucky out of bed, Bucky tried to pull away, but he was too weak for that. Tony just put his arms around Bucky’s hip while Bucky swings his right arm over Tony’s shoulder, Tony shudders at the warmth, he wasn’t into body contact, but he was worried for Bucky. As he drags Bucky to the bathroom, slowly help him out of his sweatpants and tank top, Bucky was a bit embarrassed to be naked in front of Tony but his body was too weak to protest, only in his brief, Tony slides Bucky into the bathtub, Bucky starts to shiver, it was too cold for him but it was for the best for him.

 

Tony left Bucky in the bathroom, while he gathers Bucky’s dirty laundries, even his sweat soaked bedsheets, and dumps it in the washer room, while he runs the washing machine, he went to the kitchen, he decided to cook something light for Bucky, chicken macaroni would be good right? While cooking, he prepares a warm cup of peppermint tea, to help soothe Bucky’s stomach before a meal. He walks back into Bucky’s room, to see Bruce Banner setting up the IV drip and Rhodey set up the monitor, making the room into a small ward. He grabs a towel and some clean clothes for Bucky, as he walks into the bathroom, Bucky was sitting in the tub, looking at him tiredly, he helps Bucky up, and help him change to new clothes, he then walked Bucky slowly back to bed, thankfully Rhodey already made the bed. He slowly lay Bucky down, with the help of Bruce, he props Bucky up, gave him a cup of tea, and Bruce proceed to insert the drip into Bucky, everyone was silence doing their work, a few times Bucky would groan in discomfort, but everything seems okay. Tony had gone to the kitchen to grab the food and bring it on a tray back to Bucky’s bedroom. As he sets the food in front of Bucky, **“I made something light for you, hope your stomach can handle it, eat it slowly, then once done, I could fix your arm alright.”** Tony said softly to Bucky. Bucky could only nod. He slowly starts to eat his meal, once he was done, Bruce gave him some medicine to eat and a Jab, so the fever won’t shoot up any further. Bucky just lay in his bed, he was connected to a few monitors, just to check his vitals. Tony sat on Bucky’s left, slowly inspecting his arm, trying to figure out what to do, since his arm was badly injured now, Tony could easily slide off the old arm, and try to connect a new arm. He expects a crazy wire work, but it was a simple attachment and detachment. As he finishes with Bucky’s arm, **“Hey there Bucks, your arm ready okay.’’** Tony said, as he wipes down the new arm, inspecting for any fault. He looks up to see Bucky fast asleep. He just brushes some lose hair and tucks them behind Bucky’s ears. He kissed Bucky’s forehead tenderly, and smiles at the sleeping man. He gathers his things and Bucky’s old arm and proceed to his lab. **“FRIDAY! Update me when Bucky’s awake or his vitals starts to change okay** ” Tony said as he walks into his lab.

 

Tony dumps the old arm on his table, and starts examining it, it was a fine piece of metal that he could replicate or make a better one. He sits there wondering what kind of shitty humans would do this to a young man. **“FRIDAY, could you please bring up the files for The Winter Soldier, under HYDRA.”**  Tony commanded as he continues to fiddle on the metal piece. **“Bringing up Winter Soldier Files, there’s 166 files found Sir!”**  FRIDAY replies, Tony looks up to see the holograms of it, **“Filter out the assassin files, and other files too.”**  Tony replies as he watched one by one the files were shifted away, **“10 files found Sir.”** FRIDAY replies, Tony continues to watch the hologram, choosing the files about Bucky’s biography to open first, he reads through the files about Bucky’s family, about his life in army, and when he was assumed dead, his slides a few files to find a video. He plays the video, to see Bucky sitting in a chair, like the ones in the dentist room, they have already fixed his arm with the metal one with a bright red star on it, he watched as they inject Bucky with some solutions, looks like Super Soldier serum, a metal like thing was attached to his head, he had a mouth guard on but Tony could still hear Bucky’s  groans. It pains him to see such a young man getting hurt. A voice was heard, Russian or something. Commanding a countdown, as slowly the machine attached to Bucky’s head starts whirling, his limbs were tied up to the chair, not able to move. If Tony’s Russian was right, the man was counting up, till 26. If he was correct, they actually brainwashed, or fucking cleared 26 years’ worth of memory from this young man. Bucky was only 26 when he was taken away, next thing he knew, the man voice who was commanding, started walking around Bucky in a clockwise direction, holding the familiar red book, saying the words to trigger him, and suddenly the room went silent, and he could only hear Bucky’s raspy voice, **“ Ready to comply!”** then there cheers around the room, and the video ended. Tony could feel the bile coming up his throat. HYDRA was sick, torturing a young man, a 26-year-old man, and making him The Winter Soldier. He felt bad for Bucky, imagine this young healthy man could be out there saving the world with his best friend, but he was tortured and enslaved by some monsters in white coats called HYDRA. Tony couldn’t work anymore. He felt sick to his core. He just dumps the arms in the useless metal bin and proceed to work on Bucky’s new arm.

 

**“Sir, It seems like Mr Barnes is having a nightmare, his heart rate is pretty fast right now,”** FRIDAY said as Tony was busy with Bucky’s new arm, it has been 5 hrs since Bucky fell asleep, Tony stops whatever he was doing, and he rushed up to Bucky’s level, he just barge into Bucky’s room,  **“ I don’t want to kill anyone, please stop! I’m begging you!”**  Bucky said, as he trashed around in bed, **“Please not them, please. They’re my friend! Please! I beg you!”** Bucky continued, it must be those HYDRA dreams, Tony thought. **“No, not the Stark. Please not them! I beg you!”** Bucky was crying already, he was covered in sweats, his IV drips had been pulled out, Tony stood frozen by Bucky side, he heard his family’s name, Bucky really didn’t have the intention to kill his parents, but he was forced. Tony went on his knees, as he slowly tries to wake Bucky up. **“Hey there Hunny, everything will be okay, it was just a dream.”** Tony said softly, as he shakes Bucky awake, but Bucky was in deep sleep, he could hear his whimpers and groans. So, Tony starts shaking him violently, **“Come on Buckaroo, wake up. It’s just a dream!’** Tony continued. Bucky’s eyes suddenly shot open, and he sits up abruptly, **“I don’t mean to kill your parents Stark! They made me! please don’t hate me. Please don’t kill me!”** Bucky suddenly said, his eyes was filled with teas, he was covered in sweats. He held Tony’s arms, begging with his eyes, **“Hey there Hunny, it was just a bad dream, I’m okay, I’m here, I don’t hate you okay. I’m here.”** Tony reassured Bucky, looking deep in those blue eyes, he knows this man had already felt bad about it, felt remorse, Tony didn’t hate him at all. Tony did the next best thing, he embraces Bucky, pulling the man’s head and rest in at the crook of his neck, soothing him with those Italian bedtime songs, rubbing circles on his back. Slowly Bucky starts to cool down, his body falls limply in Tony’s arm. Slowly Tony lay Bucky down, kissing his forehead tenderly before leaving the room. Bucky grabs his arms before he left, **“Please Stay Stark, please don’t leave me alone.”** Bucky begged, as he looks at Tony tiredly, Tony knows how weak this man was, he nods, and slides into bed with Bucky, laying by his side, stroking his hair, till soon sleep came for Bucky, Tony stayed there the entire night, enjoying the warmth Bucky radiates, soon he fell asleep. Only to wake up, entangled in the mess of arms and legs, he literally was hugging Bucky like a koala, **“Morning Hunny.”**  Tony said as he stifles a yawn. **“Morning Doll, sorry for yesterday, but still thank you for taking care of me.”**  Bucky said, as he looks at Tony’s bedroom eyes, Tony could continue his sleep, but he got work to do. As they pull apart from each other, Tony just rubs his eyes and got out of bed, **“No worries Buckaroo, I would do anything for you, you deserve the world okay! Just rest up for today, I won’t approve any mission for you. I have work to do, you can drop by in the lab anytime you want”** Tony said as he walks out the room. Bucky smiled, Tony would do anything for him, he thought.

 

For the next few weeks, Tony always went to the gym with Bucky, saying he was bored sparing alone, or Bucky would just drop by the lab with food, sometimes they would meet at the rooftop late at night, stating they can’t sleep. Tony spend most of his time in Bucky’s room, Bucky mostly in Tony’s lab, they had each other’s back on the field. Wherever Tony goes, Bucky follows, same goes to Bucky, Tony never left his side, unless for works and meetings. They would cuddle up in the couch during movie nights, or tease each other when either one cooks, they would train together, they would always be together. Everyone is starting to tease them about being a couple, and they would always laugh it off. Bucky starts to have feelings for Tony, but he always denies it, but Tony was always proud of his feelings for Bucky, when people starts teasing them, Tony would openly admit he loves Bucky, making the older man blush and sometimes stutter, he would openly flirt with Bucky during mission, teasing Bucky, even complimenting him. Bucky always felt bad, his guilt kept eating him up.

 

Go back to the current time, as Tony continues to embrace Bucky, only for Bucky to realise, Tony had just kissed him. TONY FUCKING STARK KISSED HIM! And confessed to him, his true feelings. He always thought Tony was blindly flirting with him, but never realise Tony’s feelings were true. As he pushes Tony away slightly, he cups Tony face, **“So you’re fucking serious about loving me?”** Bucky ask as he looks into Tony’s eyes, Tony’s eyes soften, **“Never stopped loving you Buck, always have been in love with you, but thank you for noticing me now”** Tony replies. **” I always thought you would flirt with everyone and I wasn’t that special”** Bucky replies as he shrugged his shoulders. **“Buckaroo come on. I openly flirts with you, I complimented you, I slaps your ass post missions, I cook with you, hell I even go to the gym with you, I never go to any gym even if my life depends on it!”**  Tony chuckles, **“I gave you access to my lab without having to ask for permission, and you’re the only one can enter here, the rest always had to ask. Hunny, listen, I cooked for you, I barely cook for myself, but I cook for you, can’t you see the sincerity in that?”**  Tony said as he looks deep into Bucky’s eyes. Bucky could just smile at those memories, **“Come here!”**  Tony said, as he then cups Bucky’s face in return and pull him closer, pressing his lips lightly on Bucky’s , deepening their kisses, low moans could be heard, Bucky just grabs Tony by his ass, and carries him onto Tony’s work table, Tony spread his legs wider, so Bucky could stand closer to him, Tony’s hands entangled in Bucky’s messy hair, while Bucky’s hand were around Tony’s thighs, as they finally separated for air, **“ You know for our first time, I don’t think I want to do it in my lab, Come on Babe, I’m not gonna do my teammate in my lab, let’s go to my room instead.”** Tony said breathlessly, as he leans his forehead against Bucky. **“Teammate huh?”**  Bucky tease as he pretends to pout, **“Alright, I’m not gonna do my future husband in my lab, so please, let’s go to my room!”**  Tony said slightly annoyed. Bucky just laughed, he then carries Tony over his shoulder, **“Whatever you say, Mr Barnes!”**  Bucky teased as he smacks Tony’s ass. Tony had built an elevator in his lab that goes to his room personally, **“Mr Barnes huh? I always thought Mr Stark – Barnes would sound a lot nicer”** Tony teased back, as they got into the elevator, he starts drumming Bucky’s ass, earning blushing and low moans from the older man. Their journey to Tony’s room were filled with laughter and giggling, as Bucky finally sets Tony down on his bed, they continue to kiss, as Bucky props himself up on his left arm, he looks deep in Tony’s eyes, **“I fucking Love You Anthony Edward Stark!”**  Bucky growled, **“Nah, it’s you will love fucking me, James Buchanan Stark-Barnes!”**  Tony teased as he licks Bucky collar bone, earning a low moan from the man.  **“YES, I WILL FUCKING LOVE YOU AND LOVE FUCKING YOU ANTHONY EDWARD STARK-BARNES”** Bucky said as he peppers kisses on Tony’s face. Yup they were gonna keep calling each other STARK-BARNES when they’re married and old, lying in bed with each other, even when Tony turns 80. Tony was only taught to love and never to hate, and Bucky was taught to protect, and never to attack.


End file.
